


The Binds That Tie Us

by n00dl3Gal



Series: Akihiko Sanada Vs. The Forces of the Universe [1]
Category: Persona 3, Persona Series
Genre: Canon Compliant, Coming Out, Embedded Images, Female Persona 3 Protagonist and Male Persona 3 Protagonist are Twins, Gen, Gender Dysphoria, If anybody tags this as ak1k3n they will meet my evoker :), Implied background akishinji, Implied/Referenced Character Death, LGBTQ Themes, Platonic Relationships, References to Depression, Trans Akihiko Sanada, Trans Ken Amada, Trans Male Character, Two bros bonding over being trans!!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-13 00:33:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29767980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/n00dl3Gal/pseuds/n00dl3Gal
Summary: It is Akihiko's fault for not shutting the door.(Or: Akihiko learns that he and Ken have a lot more in common than having Personas and dead parents.)
Relationships: Amada Ken & Koromaru, Amada Ken & Sanada Akihiko
Series: Akihiko Sanada Vs. The Forces of the Universe [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2187804
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	The Binds That Tie Us

**Author's Note:**

> I really don't know where this came from but boy it sure did!!! I love their friendship so much they're my two special boys 
> 
> Thanks to my sibling for their help- both for making sure this is respectful and for the art at the end! Also shoutout to madaras-guitar for essentially proofreading this and general feedback.

It is Akihiko’s fault for not shutting the door. 

The cusp of August to September always brought in unbearable heat. Akihiko has barely started his regimen for the day and his shirt is already sticking to his chest. He knows the dangers of overexertion in warm weather, how it could easily lead to dehydration or other health issues. Not something he wants to deal with Tartarus still being a factor. 

He also knows the dangers of wearing a binder for too long, especially during physical activity. He has the scars to prove it. Maybe one day he’ll take Mitsuru up on her offer and create new scars to cover them up- scars that meant no more binders at all. 

But that’s a what-if, not a present issue. And at that moment, Akihiko is sweating through his shirt. So he does the logical thing- take it off, and continue his arrangement with the punching bag. If he gets too warm or his muscles ache in a bad way, he’ll remove the binder, too. Maybe not the most elegant solution, but practical and quick. 

He practices jabs and uppercuts, a bit unimpressed with his slower attacks but attributing it to the heatwave. The punching bag whips back and forth rhythmically. All was as it should be, until-

“Um, Sanada-san? What are you wearing?”

Akihiko spins around so fast, he nearly hit his head on the still-reverberating bag. “What the- Ken, why didn’t you knock?” he asks, incredulously. 

Ken frowns. “Um, the door was open,” he says, gesturing to the knob vaguely. “I heard you practicing down the hall and… I guess it doesn’t really matter,” he amends. “Anyway, what are you wearing? It looks a bit like something I saw in Kotone-san’s laundry once.” 

Akihiko doesn’t consider himself to be a blusher, but he finds his cheeks heating up regardless. “O-oh, this? Um…” He pulls at the strap on his right shoulder. It doesn’t feel right to lie to a kid, especially one as perceptive as Ken. But he also isn’t entirely sure of how to approach the topic of gender dysphoria and being trans. Ken is shifting weight from one foot to the other, clearly impatient. Akihiko sighs. “Well, it’s my binder.” 

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but that doesn’t look like a binder,” Ken replies, crossing his arms. “We both use them for school, Sanada-san.” 

Akihiko shakes his head. “No, not like that. It’s… I use it to flatten my chest,” he says bluntly, turning to look at the wall. “So that my breasts aren’t so much of an issue.” 

It is quiet, and Akihiko wonders if Ken left. But then he heard a quiet “breasts…?” in awed disbelief. 

Another sigh escapes him. “Ken, I’m a guy, but I wasn’t born a guy. Does that make sense?” He faced Ken again and was surprised to see the younger boy wide-eyed and smiling. “Ken?”

Ken’s voice is tender, overjoyed, borderline silent. “You mean… I’m not the only one?”

“What?”  
  
“I-I mean that I’m like you, Sanada-san! I was born Kana but I never fit with that name or liked the dresses and skirts I was supposed to wear, so I started calling myself Ken and wearing shorts and cut my hair and-and I felt like _me,_ ” he explains in a rush, running up to Akihiko. “And I never knew there were other people that felt like that.” 

Akihiko stares at him, comprehension washing over him in waves. “You-you mean… you’re trans, too?” he asks, voice cracking in the way he hated. 

“If that’s the word for it, then yes!” 

Ken is smiling so wide, so excitedly, that Akihiko nearly pulls him into a hug. Nearly. Instead, he motions for Ken to join him fully inside the room, shutting the door behind them. He grabs his shirt off the floor and tugs it back on. “Sit down, we should talk.” He sits on the bed, patting the space next to him. 

Ken’s smile fades. “What about your training?”

“It can wait. This is more important.” That satisfies Ken, who sits cross-legged on the blanket. “How long have you… you know,” he starts awkwardly. 

Ken scratches the back of his neck. “Um, I told my mom a couple of months before I turned eight,” he explains slowly. “She messed up a few times, but she was okay with it. Then I… well, when I transferred to Gekkoharu Elementary for fourth grade, I was enrolled as Ken. Nobody knew, as far as I could tell.”

“Does anybody know?”

Ken thinks for a moment. “Mitsuru, she asked me about it before I moved in. Apparently, she found my birth certificate. I think Koromaru knows, too.”

Akihiko blinks. “The dog.”

“He’s smart! He figures stuff out! But it doesn’t matter, because he’s a dog… he curls up with me when it gets really bad.” He starts picking at a scab on his knee. 

Akihiko pulls ken’s hand away gently. “When what gets really bad? You don’t have to tell me, but I might go through the same experience and be able to help you.”

Ken doesn’t respond right away, instead opting to play with the drawstring of his jacket. Even in the summer, he has a hoodie on. “I mean… some days, I don’t feel like I am a boy. Or not a boy enough. Everything feels wrong inside and it makes my stomach curl.” He pokes at his chest, over the spot he usually aimed his Evoker at. “When I awoke Nemesis, I was so worried because- she’s a _girl,_ and everyone else’s Persona matched their gender, so I wondered if maybe I was wrong all along.” 

Right, Nemesis was the Greek goddess of revenge, wasn’t she? Akihiko vaguely recalled learning that in school. “I don’t think that’s a hard and fast rule. Both Minato and Kotone use Personas of either gender and probably genders we don’t even know about. If you say you’re a boy, you’re a boy.” He sighs under his breath. “But I get what you mean about the days when it feels wrong. I have those, too. Less now that I have my binder and I’ve started transitioning, but they still happen.” 

“Transitioning?” 

“Oh, right. You know what hormones are, right? The chemicals that dictate how you grow and behave?” Ken nods. “There are ways to rebalance them so you can essentially change your hormonal level to that of the opposite gender. Still need to get surgery if you want to fully transition, though.” 

Ken’s nose crinkles at the mention of surgery. “That… feels like a lot of work. I have those days but I don’t think it’s enough to fully commit to surgery for,” he says. 

Akihiko shrugs. “And that’s fine, too. You don’t have to. You’re still really young, anyway. It would probably be dangerous for you to start.” He decides not to mention how expensive it all was, either. If it wasn’t for Mitsuru’s help and the funds from Tartarus, Akihiko would never be able to afford it. “But I will make you a deal. If you decide you want it, I’ll help you get a binder when you’re… let’s say thirteen. That should be old enough.” 

Ken’s eyes widen at the offer. “Really?” he asks excitedly. 

“Yep. That’s a promise, one man to another.” Akihiko tries not to smile at Ken’s gleeful blush, but he is fairly sure it was showing. He falls silent after that, although it isn’t long before Ken starts giggling. “What’s so funny?” 

“N-nothing, it’s just- your name. The kanji for it is ‘shining’ and ‘boy,’ right? So you must have just added ‘boy’ to the end,” Ken observes. 

Two blushes in one day. It was a new record for Akihiko. “Yeah, well, you’re one to talk,” he counters. “Isn’t yours the kanji for ‘drought?’” 

“That’s- well- I thought it sounded masculine!” Ken squawks indignantly. Akihiko bites back a laugh. “Anyway, is that why Shinjiro-san calls you ‘Aki?’ Doesn’t it… I know I feel really bad when someone calls me ‘Kana.’” 

“It’s a bit different with Shinji. Less my deadname- that is, my old name- and more an affectionate nickname.” 

Ken looks away. His eyes droop with sadness. “Guess you two must be pretty close, then.” Something tight wound its way in Akihiko’s throat at Ken’s expression. Did Ken…? No, he couldn’t know who Shinjiro was. It was two years ago. He’s about to open his mouth to comment when Ken continues with “you said it’s called being trans?”

Akihiko blinks out of his stupor and nods. “The full word is ‘transgender,’ but most people use trans for short.” He starts explaining his- admittedly limited- knowledge of transgender history. Ken listens intently, occasionally asking a few questions or sharing his own experiences. At one point, he asks when Akihiko knew he was trans. He placates the younger boy by saying he’d always known, which was somewhat true. But he didn’t _know_ until his ribs were bandaged up after the fire that took Miki, and he realized that he never wanted those bandages _gone._ Maybe that’s a horrible way to find out you have gender dysphoria. Akihiko didn’t really care. 

They talk long enough for the sun to begin to set. Koromaru comes in, pawing at Ken’s leg, anxious to go out for a walk. Akihiko looks at them and recalls what Ken said, about Koromaru knowing. As if sensing his observation, Koromaru turns to Aki and barks once. 

Maybe the kid was onto something. 

“Thank you again, Sanada-san,” Ken says as he goes to the door. “This… means a lot to me. I really didn’t realize that other people felt the way I do.”

“Anytime, Ken. And if you ever have more questions, come and find me and I’ll answer as best I can. Now go take Koromaru out before he pees on the floor.” 

Ken tries to protest- “Koromaru would never do something like that!”- but relents and leaves. Akihiko is alone once more. He sighs and lays back on his bed. He’s not sure he wants to train anymore today. Maybe that’s not a bad thing. 

But… Shinjiro still calls him Aki. He’s the only one who does. He’s the only one who _can._ That’s not a bad thing, either. 

But why isn’t it a bad thing?

**Author's Note:**

> https://n00dl3gal.carrd.co/


End file.
